Welcome to 'I Know How To Live': The Life of Kristen Pfaff'
‘I Know How To Live’: The Life of Kristen Pfaff is a 'bestselling' and 'long awaited' biography about the musician, activist, and member of Hole during their album ‘Live Through This’
‘You’re going to inspire girls to sit in their bedrooms and play guitar.’ Kristen Pfaff, diary recording.
‘I Know How To Live’: The Life of Kristen Pfaff’ (by Guy Mankowski and Jason Pfaff) is what No Treble magazine called the ‘long awaited’ biography of Kristen Pfaff (which Substack dubbed a ‘bestseller’ in February 2025). A key member in Janitor Joe and Hole during their influential ‘Live Through This’ era, Pfaff is someone whose short life has fascinated generations across the world.
Through this Substack, chapters from the biography of Pfaff’s life were published from 10th December, in three monthly instalments for paying subscribers (who get unseen and unheard media from Pfaff’s life and previews of interviews with the authors prior to general release). The whole first part of the biography can now be read in three parts here for subscribers.
It is a biography that has been in progress for over five years, and draws, for the first time, from the materials Pfaff left behind her after her tragic death at 27 years old which were archived by Jason Pfaff. This archive includes hours of Pfaff’s unheard journal recordings, musical demos, as well as her writings, critical essays, and unseen photographs from her short but compelling life. This archive led to new interviews by those who knew Pfaff best- including some powerful new voices which have not been on record before- and who drastically change the narrative about Pfaff. Jason Pfaff has in addition shared from his sisters’ archive demos, answerphone messages, interviews with those who knew Kristen best, in addition. This allows ‘I Know How To Live’ to offer what we hope is an innovative approach to the biography form.
The Substack began with the release of volume 1 of 2 in the biography of Pfaff’s life. It goes up to Pfaff’s decision to join Hole and the start of her tenure with them and offers new insights into Pfaff’s interactions with key grunge figures such as Steve Albini, J Mascis. It sheds new light on her relationship with Kurt Cobain.
Much has been said and rumoured about Kristen Pfaff. ‘I Know How To Live’ offers her the chance for her to finally share her voice.
Over the course of five years this project grew, becoming two books as Pfaff’s multifaceted life was explored. Many interested people approached those behind this project, when word got out about it, with questions about Pfaff’s life- and death- and to share the influence she had on their life. (A TEDx talk (link here) and last year a first chapter of the book were published, for free, by 3AM Magazine (link here) to start to get new information about Pfaff out). We are grateful to those who have waited so patiently, and who’ve contributed their experiences with Pfaff.
Quotes on ‘I Know How To Live’: The Life of Kristen Pfaff
‘This book celebrates the power of music but doesn’t flinch from the dark side, the hangover and the pain of drugs and the burn-out and death, yet ultimately places Kristen back in the deserved centre of the narrative.’ John Robb, TV and radio presenter, first man to interview Nirvana, and best-selling pop-culture author (Punk Rock -an oral history and ’The Art Of Darkness’ - the history of Goth.)
‘The 1990’s are constantly being reassessed as a vital decade for music and musicians. Mankowski’s brilliant and exhaustive retelling of the extraordinary (and extraordinarily misunderstood) life of Kristen Pfaff- one of the most important players in the Seattle / Sub Pop scene- is a timely reminder that sometimes the heroes don’t always win, and the truth is out there if you look hard enough.’ Jane Savidge, of Savidge and Best (PR for Pulp, Suede) and author of 33 1/3 book ‘Pulp’s This Is Hardcore.
‘Written by Mankowski with the help of Kristen's brother Jason Pfaff, this enthralling read documents one of the most talented female performers on the '90s alternative rock scene’. The YEAR Grunge BROKE website.
‘Any writing is only as important as how it affects others. This book has done that for me…I feel like you put into words the way I feel about Kristen. Also, beautifully written and I love the way you bring yourself into the story.’ Mike Huber, Kristen Pfaff’s former partner.
‘You do a great job reconstructing a complex and at times contradictory life. Your narrative helped me fill in gaps in my own memory. I think overall it’s really compelling. You capture her spirit out of the many fragments of memories, events, relationships, achievements, and other traces she left behind.’ Robert Slammon, Kristen Pfaff’s former boyfriend.
First chapters were published on 10th December 2024 with Jason’s introduction dropping on 25th November. Anyone with a monthly (or annual subscription- though we advise you choose ‘monthly’) gets all posts published so far- including the clips from her journal recordings.
Frequently Asked Questions
What exactly do I get for my subscription fee of $9.5 dollars a month (a total of $28.5 dollars or 21.95 sterling- 24 sterling ‘annual subscription’ if I pay all in one go) over the course of three months?
· 50,000 words of volume 1 of ‘I Know How To Live’: The Life of Kristen Pfaff, covering the first 26 years of her 27 year life up to her decision to join Hole and the circumstances around it. This is divided into three (broadly equal) monthly instalments published on the 10th December 2024 and then on the 10th of the following two months. If you subscribe at any point you get all the content released so far. This content includes Pfaff’s unheard musical demos, journal recordings, writings, stories, academic essays, letters, video footage and a cassette playlist she made.
Paid subscribers get additional content, such as previews of interviews with the author/s before they reach the general public.
I can’t pay for a monthly subscription via Stripe for some reason. Can I get access to the book and the media you’re sharing?
Yes. Take out a free email subscription. Then email us on iknowhowtolivekristenpfaff@gmail.com. If you pay 24.95 sterling once via Paypall to us (which we’ll arrange via email) having subscribed for free we can ‘gift’ your email address a full subscription on Substack.
I tried to pay for a subscription and the payment options were limited, it wanted me to pay be credit card. Can you help?
Yes. A helpful subscribers said they tried to pay by debit card. She said that after the fourth try it sent her a verification code to authorize the payment and she got it to work that way.
For others this hack to use debit cards didn’t work. Substack say they ‘Currently, only accept payments through credit cards via our integration with Stripe. Readers in Europe may see alternative payment options like direct debit, but these are still processed through Stripe. If you're using an Apple device, Apple Pay might be available as an option.’
So does my subscribing with my email take money out of my account?
No you’d have to set up a paid monthly subscription in order for any money to leave your account. Just adding your email means you get free posts where we’ve shared free content.
So does this mean there won’t be a paper version of the book in the future?
No. It doesn’t mean there won’t be a paper version, we just can’t see a way to it yet though having this out in book form was our original intention. But this is a way to give people a fuller insight into Kristen Pfaff, drawing from her journal recordings and allowing people to hear her music. People also get the content of volume 1 of her biography with Substack. Though they don’t get a paper version to hold that does not mean that further down the line there won’t be a paper version. The agent behind this project is approaching this as a means to facilitate that. Kristen fans had been waiting a long time to get this content and this allows them to have it.
So what about volume 2? When will we get to read that?
Now volume 1 is out we are working to clear content for volume 2 ASAP. We’d like to add that this book has no intention of badmouthing anyone, but instead in giving voice to Kristen’s own words.
So in that case, as things stand, I should cancel my monthly subscription if I don’t want it to keep coming out of my bank account once I’ve read what’s been shared?
Yes. If we know of volume 2 content being on its way we will let you know ASAP. Keeping your paid subscription will mean you can keep accessing all we have but it does mean the money will keep coming out of your account every month.
(NB with any affiliations or channels the authors promote through no support to others who have spoken on those channels is offered or implied.)
Author biographies
Jason Pfaff is an accomplished American composer and multidisciplinary artist. He plays piano, drums, synthesizers, and sings within his own cinematic genre 'Multidimensional' (blending Classical, Ambient, Pop, Electronica, Hip Hop, Blues, and Rock). He is the brother of the late musical force, Kristen Pfaff.
Dr. Guy Mankowski is the author of the novels including “Dead Rock Stars” and An Honest Deceit (which was adapted for Audible). His first work of non-fiction was ‘Albion’s Secret History: Snapshots of England’s Pop Rebels and Outsiders’, published internationally by Zer0 Books in 2021. His 2022 TEDx talk was entitled ‘Lived Through This: Kristen Pfaff’s hidden archive and influence’ and can be watched here. He is a Senior Lecturer in Creative Writing at Lincoln University, UK and represented by Matthew Hamilton of The Hamilton Agency and Leah Middleton at Marcjacq for rights. He is interviewed about the writing of this book in a deep dive interview here.
Book cover design by Irina Jihoshvili. Photos 2 & 3 by Brian Pobuda.